Guidance to resolve Fear & Insecurities.

Following story from Osho may help people in letting-go of their insecurities, fear and attain detachment in life. I usually narrate this story to my clients in order to help them deal with their fears or insecurities. So, I thought that it should be shared with all as others may also be going through similar situations and may feel guidance coming from this story.

There are two versions of this story but message is same –

First Version –

There was a Sufi who used to live a happy life with his wife in a village. Although they were married for many years but they didn’t have any child. Then one day, the wife of Sufi conceived. The child came into their life.

Then after 4-5 years, one day child was playing on roof of home and had fallen down from there. After a few moments, child succumbed to injuries.

Sufi was working in the fields and was informed that his child is no more. He needs to come back and perform the last rites. Sufi came back, performed the last rites and ……… went back to the fields to complete his work for the day.

In the evening, he came back home again and asked for food, just like any normal day. His wife stood bewildered. She asked that, he was our only kid, born after years of getting married. I was thinking that you would be devastated but you are behaving as if nothing has happened.

Sufi replied, I was happy when the child was not in my life, I was still happy when child came into my life and now, as the child had gone back from my life, I have reached the same state where I was when I was happy without a child.

Second Version –

In this version, when the child passed away, the wife of Sufi waited for Sufi to come back from fields after completing his work. Sufi came back and as she was serving him food, she started a conversation by saying, 5 years ago, someone had given me a precious Jewel to keep with me safe and secure. Today, suddenly that person had come back and asked that Jewel back. I just wanted to take your advice if I should give that jewel back as is?

Sufi replied, what is there to ask? It is not your Jewel anyways. Is greed and dishonesty coming into your mind?

Wife said, No but I just wanted to know that we are on same page.

And then she takes Sufi to another room to show the dead body of Son.

Message – From outside, they both look like very cruel and stonehearted people but try to understand the gist of this story that whenever we feel that this person or that thing is the reason behind our happiness or we can’t live without this person or that thing, then just reflect back and realize that you were happy in your life even before that person or that thing came into your life. So, it is not that your life or your happiness depends on a certain person or certain things in your life.

Your happiness depends on yourself. It is nothing but a state of mind. It all depends on how we look at life? I can see at things which are not in my life and cry over them or I can see at things which are in my life and feel grateful about them.

This reminds me of another story from Osho’s life when his Father has got a new house constructed and was supposed to shift to new house in a week’s time. He went to City to buy things for housewarming ceremony and when he was away, a storm struck the village and his new home had fallen down. When Osho’s father came back and got the news of destruction of new home, he went to the whole village and distributed sweets.

He said that God is very kind. If storm had struck 10 days after then my whole family would have got killed inside that home.

Osho says that we can look at life through such vision too.

In my experience as a counsellor, insecurity or fear is one of the most potent reasons why people are suffering in their life in general; and relationships in particular. The fear of losing the other one or fear of not finding a better partner grips them and people go on holding on to abusive relationships or toxic family environment.

These two stories can help us understand that every event of life can be a blessing in disguise, if we have the right attitude to approach these events.

As I understand, detachment is more an internal phenomenon and can be attained through following ways –

• Earn as much money as you like to earn but if someone takes away that money tomorrow then don’t cry over it.
• Love someone as much as you like to but if someday they want to leave you or you don't find any happiness in the relationship anymore then let them go happily.

Hope this helps. Thanks,

Swami Premanand Bharti