Need for Change in Approach
So, this is going
to be one of my post on social topic because I am posting about Marriage. As
Marriage remains a social institution, we have to talk more about social
scenario than Astrological Concepts.
Time and again I
have posted on how Astrology has no connection with marriage and this link must
be destroyed ASAP. You can read my views on this topic here - http://astrosaxena.com/ramm, http://astrosaxena.com/irm, http://astrosaxena.com/d9lifepath, http://astrosaxena.com/chartmatch, and http://astrosaxena.com/2marriage. In this article,
I discussed about how much Astrology can help in relationship matters - https://www.astrosaxena.com/astromarriage1.
Then I talked
extensively on various social reasons why relationships are becoming more and
more tough. You can read these posts here - https://www.astrosaxena.com/marriageissues , https://www.astrosaxena.com/divissues , https://www.astrosaxena.com/relations2 and https://www.astrosaxena.com/fbrelations.
I have realized
that there is one more reason, besides all other reasons I already talked, why
relationships are tough day-by-day? It is more applicable for societies like
India where still 90% marriages are arranged.
So, how much time we take to fix an
arranged marriage in most of the cases?:P
As far as I know,
prospective Bride & Groom get 10-15 mins to talk with each other and even
in that time, their parents may be busy in finalizing "The Deal". At
max, they get half-an hour to "supposedly" know each other.
Well, then average
is just perfect. You gave half-an hour to decide the marriage and that marriage
is lasting for half-an year, right? After 6 months, either they are filing for
divorce or they are just dragging each other for rest of life.
One can say that
these days couples chat with each other before getting married to understand
each other.
Well yes, but by
that time engagement is already done, drums are already beaten up in friends
& relatives. So, even if they don't find a connection with each other in
their interaction before marriage then also it is like compulsory for them to
get married to save their families' so-called image/reputation. Very rarely
someone will have guts to break the engagement.
But the main point
I am trying to stress here is that we need to get rid of this system of
deciding the marriages. We have to accept that if foundation of marriage is in
"A Deal" then it will last only till the deal is final and
transaction is complete. If there is no love or emotions involved between the
couple then there is very rare chance of sustaining the marriage, except
through dragging it. And those emotions can be developed between 2 people only
through regular interaction.
Also, it is foolish
to check someone's chart to know the nature of person. None can tell it
perfectly. Take my chart & try to tell my nature and you will find that in
real life I can be a very different person, either for good or bad. You can
only know a person through interacting with him/her over a long period of time.
That's why I tell my clients/friends to meet/talk with the prospective spouse
for at least one year then take the decision. And if someone is not willing to
give one year before marriage then just imagine how he can give about 25 years
after the marriage, for which you must be planning for your marriage?
Osho was known to
criticize institution of marriage but he also said that if marriage institution
can be saved, then it is through love marriage, not through arranged marriage.
He said that marriage should be result of love but Indian Society is trying to
do something opposite by creating love through marriage.
Even
Astrologically, 5th house of Love comes 1st and then comes 7th house of
Marriage. So, mutual Love or Emotions are foundation on which institution of
marriage can sustain.
And for all those
people who say that it is not the tradition and their arranged marriage had
sustained, please go through the articles I gave in beginning. I covered the
points on which we can see a clear change in Indian Social Setup and why rules
of 20th Century cannot be applied in 21st Century in matters of marriage.
And if people are
still fond of old times then they should remain in those old times only for all
other reasons too. They should still go to their village Vaidya for treatment
and not the multi-speciality hospitals. They should still listen to Radio &
Transistors and get rid of Netflix.
For God sake, we
have to change with the time and this is one change which is seriously needed
in deciding the marriage matters.
Thanks,
SPB
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